What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
