i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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