New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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