I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Randomize
