I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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