Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Someone came in the potted fern
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
