Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Also, beer. Big fan.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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