I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
