how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
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