Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
