we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
