My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
You're breaking my sexual little heart
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
