Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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