shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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