Just fell off a train. Bad.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Randomize
