I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
