i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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