so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
Randomize
