Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Randomize
