We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
