if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
