omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
