So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Randomize
