He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
