Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
