I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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