Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
