Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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