I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize