I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
