i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Randomize
