I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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