Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
Randomize
