WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize