soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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