does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Randomize
