You're so nebulous sometimes
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
