woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
