Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
