your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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