real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
