office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
Randomize
