I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
