One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
do nipples grow back?
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
