It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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