So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
