Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize