I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
