Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
