do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
operation harelip BJ is a go
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm getting married
To pizza
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
