i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize