Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
