no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
