I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
