My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
