Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
