Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
