I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
Duck Duck Cougar?
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
