He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
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