we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
