Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize